


All My Yesterdays

by Leloi



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: All Our Yesterdays Reboot, M/M, References to Pon Farr, T'hy'la, Turnabout Intruder Reboot, almost cheating, references to Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 22:25:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5022865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leloi/pseuds/Leloi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was only in the transporter room, staring back at his companions with the hum of the ship’s engines vibrating through his feet that Kirk had time to assess the change.  “What happened?”</p><p>Spock averted his eyes, focusing his attention to a spot just over Kirk’s right shoulder.  “With your permission, Captain…”</p><p>Captain?  Kirk startled at the sudden change in title.  “What is it, Commander?”  Two could play that game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All My Yesterdays

**Author's Note:**

> I rewatched the Original Series and thought about ways to fix "Turnabout Intruder" in the Reboot 'verse. I also thought about how a T'hy'la relationship would be affected by Zarabeth.

Something was terribly wrong. But Kirk couldn’t put his finger on it. Spock and McCoy had stepped through the portal with only moments to spare. Instantly Kirk felt the change in that usual warm glow in the back of his mind he labeled “Spock.” Spock was no longer the warm glow. But there was very little time to think about it as they were transported aboard and warping away from imminent danger. 

It was only in the transporter room, staring back at his companions with the hum of the ship’s engines vibrating through his feet that Kirk had time to assess the change. “What happened?”

Spock averted his eyes, focusing his attention to a spot just over Kirk’s right shoulder. “With your permission, Captain…”

Captain? Kirk startled at the sudden change in title. “What is it, Commander?” Two could play that game. 

McCoy cleared his throat softly. 

“I have work to do.” Spock finished, bowing his head. 

“Alright. See you tonight.” Kirk responded, not liking the sudden distance between them. 

“I am afraid I will not be able to make that appointment.” Spock stated.

“Appointment? Spock…”

“I am sorry.” Spock whispered, intent on keeping his focus away from Kirk.

“Dismissed.” Kirk sighed, trying not to notice how quickly the Vulcan departed from the room. “Bones?” His attention turned to his oldest friend. “What happened on Sarpeidon?”

Bones glanced at the transporter technician. “Perhaps not here.”

Kirk followed his CMO through the ship to the medical bay and McCoy’s office where he was handed a generous drink. “Is it really that bad?” The captain chuckled nervously as he drank.

“Jim… About that little mind voodoo connection you have with Spock…”

“Our bond?” Kirk supplied as he took another sip.

“Yeah… That. How does it react if one of the bonded decides to take another mate?” Bones asked.

Kirk blinked a few times, frowning at the implication. “But I haven’t…! Not since…”

“Not you. Spock.” 

“Spock?” Kirk nearly dropped his glass. “Spock took another mate?”

“No. But he wanted to.” McCoy took a drink from his own glass, sitting down at his desk. 

Kirk sat down, running a hand through his hair. “What happened in Sarpeidon?”

^.~

Spock took another deep breath and released his chaotic mind. A presence nearby registered but was given very little thought.

“Spock?” Kirk knelt before the Vulcan. “Ashayam?”

Spock’s eyes opened and he focused on the human man before him. “I do not deserve that sentiment.”

“Why not? That is what you are to me.” Kirk responded and rearranged his legs so that he sat cross legged before the Vulcan. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“That would not be wise at this time.” Spock closed his eyes to attempt his meditation once again.

Kirk reached out and lightly touched one of Spock’s hands.

Instantly Spock pulled his hand away as if he had been hurt. Eyes were wide in near panic. “Don’t!”

Kirk flinched at the rare use of contractions. “Spock, I need to talk about this.”

“There is nothing to say right now. I must deal with my moment of weakness.”

Kirk finally stood up and looked down at the Vulcan sitting before him. “Spock… If you didn’t want to leave, then why did you? You could have just… Left me and stayed there. But you didn’t. You came back to me. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Spock looked away, blushing in shame. “McCoy forced me. That is the only reason why… I was forced. I am sorry. My actions do not deserve your sympathy.”

Kirk took a deep breath, the pain in his heart making it difficult to breathe. “Bones thinks you were affected by the primitive thoughts of your people.”

“I felt the mating urge. And yet my bond mate waited for me to return. I did not care.”

“Spock…” Kirk whispered, broken by Spock’s admission.

“I would have taken her as mate, abandoning my bond with you had the doctor not forced me to return with him.” Spock’s hands tightened into fists on his thighs. “There is much I need to meditate on. I still feel the primal thoughts of my people. Please… Jim?”

“Very well.” Kirk took a step back towards the door. “But my cabin door is always open to you at any time. You know that. We’re still… I’m still T’hy’la.” And with that Kirk left the cabin. Taking a deep breath, he stuffed his broken heart away. There was still work to do on the ship and he was still captain.

^.~

“I’ve been so lonely…” Zarabeth whispered. “So very lonely.” Leaning in, she brushed her lips against the Vulcan’s.

Something broke within Spock. The last of his control fled from him. His body was that of a primal warrior with passion and needs. This woman presented herself to him and begged him to take her. Tasting her lips and feeling her warmth around him filled him with a desire. 

“Spock.” His name came from behind him and he turned, woman still in his arms. There was another male there to compete with him for the woman!

“What?” 

“Spock… It’s me, McCoy. Don’t you recognize me?”

Spock snorted a reply. Of course he knew the doctor. What sort of fool did the doctor take him for? “Brother,” Spock’s emotional brain supplied. Yes. The doctor was a shield brother, one of his clan. And that meant he wasn’t a threat.

“What of the captain?” McCoy asked.

The Vulcan Warrior stared at the doctor in confusion. 

“You know, Spock… Your ‘mate’? Your husband, Jim? Do you remember him?”

Spock was confused. Looking to the woman he could see that she was perfect and everything he would need in a mate. Why would he take a male as his mate?

“Your tie… I know I’m getting this word wrong but I only heard it a couple of times. Tie luh? Is that right?”

“T’hy’la?” Spock breathed, staring at the woman in his arms. “T’hy’la are for time of battle. Mates are for breeding.” Delicately he pushed her hair from her eyes. “I need a mate.”

“Damnit!” McCoy cursed. “Listen here, you hobgoblin! You are my best friend’s husband and I’m not going to let you forget him!”

Spock grew annoyed of the human doctor. Releasing his hold on his woman he grabbed the doctor by the throat and slammed him against the wall of the cave. “Silence!”

“Are you going to kill me, Spock?” McCoy gasped out. “Jim is in your head… Your head…” 

Spock searched his mind for the place all his bonds were anchored. One glowed particularly brighter than the others, but still dull from distance. His hand released McCoy’s throat. “I have a mating bond.”

“No kidding…” McCoy grunted, massaging his aching throat. “Your blood fever was a hell of a time…”

Spock looked to the woman who watched the whole exchange. “Zarabeth…” 

Zarabeth blinked away tears and nodded.

^.~

Kirk sat against the observation deck’s aluminum window, staring out into the darkness of space. The door open and shut and the despondent captain barely noticed that he had company. 

“It scares me when he lean up against that thing.” Bones spoke from near the door. Kirk’s favorite place in the room was the doctor’s least favorite part. 

Kirk rolled his eyes and knocked his knuckles against the window. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“Knock that off!” Bones cried out. 

Kirk readjusted his position so his back rested on the glass. “What do you want, Bones?”

“I would like for you to stop moping.” McCoy answered. 

“I’m not moping!” Kirk protested.

“Is that why you’re tempting fate by only having a flimsy window between you and the vacuum of space?”

Kirk crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. “I was born out here… I’ll probably die out here.”

“You’re pissing me off, kid.”

“And why do you care if I’m ‘moping’? I make my shifts. What I do with my free time is no one else’s business.”

“Except when you go out of the way to avoid a certain Vulcan?” McCoy challenged.

Kirk shrugged. “He knows where to find me if he wants me. And right now he doesn’t want me…”

“Jim… You don’t know all the facts.” 

“I know enough. I know what you told me. I can feel the change in our relationship here in my head.” Kirk touched his forehead. “He told me he would have stayed… If you hadn’t forced him to return.”

“Jim…” McCoy sighed heavily and took several steps towards Kirk before hesitating. 

“I’m fooling myself thinking I can be enough for him.” Kirk whispered.

McCoy crouched near Kirk’s feet, lightly touching his thigh in comfort. “You don’t mean that.”

“Look at me!” Kirk indicated himself. “What does he need with someone like me? I’m human… My lifespan is a fraction of his. I can’t give him a family. He’ll end up like Old Spock, alone and full of regret.”

“Hey…” Bones touched Kirk’s shoulder and lightly patted him. “Many would be honored to have you as a spouse.”

Kirk gave his friend an incredulous look.

“I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head. But I know they would be honored.”

“This isn’t helping, Bones…” Kirk sighed and pulled his knees to his chest to hug them. 

“So what if you can’t get pregnant or live to be 200 years old?” McCoy offered a fond smile. “It’s not quantity, it is quality.”

“Well I’m hardly the best quality.” Kirk pressed his face into his knees.

“Says the man who saved the Earth… Twice… All before he was 30.”

Kirk gave a sad sort of chuckle and held his knees tighter. 

Helplessly the doctor patted his friend on the back. “You’ll get through this.”

“Thank you for braving the vacuum of space to try and comfort me.” Kirk managed.

“Oh, lord in…” McCoy muttered as he crawled away to return to his feet. “I hate this room.” And with that he headed for the door. “Come see me if you need anything? Or call me…”

Kirk waved him off and returned to his brooding. Brooding… But not moping.

^.~

Some time passed. Kirk got used to the fact that he no longer played chess or shared a bed with his Vulcan mate. Were they even mates anymore? There was a cold distance between them when once it was warm and golden. They went about their jobs, professional as ever and yet distant. The morale of the ship declined as they all began to feel the stress of the captain no longer syncing with his first officer.

And then Janice Lester returned to Kirk’s life…

^.~

Kirk stared at himself in the mirror. The person reflected back at him wasn’t himself, but Janice. Instantly he looked down, seeing the swell of breasts under the medical gown. Smaller hands touched them, feeling the sensation of being touched. “No...” 

“Dr. Lester?” Nurse Chapel called from the bio bed. “You should be resting.”

“Christine?” Kirk turned to look at her, seeing the confusion in her eyes. “Christine Chapel… Don’t you recognize me?”

Chapel looked nervously to the door. “You’re ill, Dr. Lester. You should get back in bed.”

“Christine you were Nyota’s first roommate before Gaia.” 

Chapel frowned. “How do you know that?”

“You told me.”

Chapel shook her head. “I never told you that.”

“No. You told Jim Kirk. You told him that you want to be a doctor but the attack by Nero cut off your medical training. Right now you’re studying.”

“There’s no way you can know that, Dr. Lester.”

“That’s because I’m not Janice Lester. I’m James Kirk in Janice Lester’s body!” Kirk replied.

“No!” Chapel took a step away from Kirk.

“You have an unrequited attraction to Spock. You brought him plomeek soup because you were concerned that he wasn’t eating. He refused it by throwing it against a bulkhead. And when you found out I went through Pon Farr with him you were heartbroken.” Kirk was desperate to reach her.

Chapel leaned against the wall, mouth open. “Captain? What happened?”

“Some sort of alien technology. Somehow Janice Lester switched our bodies.”

“Is that why he… I mean she keeps insisting that you be unconscious?”

“If I’m unconscious I can’t get help from the crew. Christine? Will you help me? Alert the others. They can test me if they need proof. I’ll even give the security codes…”

“No… No… I believe you. I’ll go get help.” Chapel looked to the door of the med bay. “It would be best if you fake unconsciousness until I get help.” 

“Thank you, Nurse Chapel.” Kirk smiled at her.

Chapel nodded and left Kirk alone to crawl back into bed to fake sickness.

^.~

There was a history between James Kirk and Janice Lester. It dated back to school in Riverside. As teenagers they dated. And when Kirk was sent away to Tarsus at the age of thirteen for driving his dad’s car into a canyon, Janice was left behind. 

Three years and a lifetime of nightmares later Kirk returned to Riverside. The people he went to school with didn’t understand any of what he had gone through. All they knew was that he had been sent away, they knew not where. The boy returned three years later with a darkness in his spirit.

“You could have written!” Janice insisted one day as they walked home together.

Kirk shook his head. “I couldn’t.” 

“What? The great James Kirk didn’t have time to write his girlfriend?” Janice demanded. “Too busy? Too many important things to do? Other girls to date?”

“There wasn’t time to write.”

“Where the hell were you? I needed you and you were off, taking on the galaxy. Bet you had fun.”

Kirk shook his head. “It wasn’t fun. It was the exact opposite. It was… Death.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic! Oh, woe is me… I’m James Kirk and I’ve had a hard life. Everyone pay attention to me!” Janice sashayed off.

“Janice… They sent me to Tarsus.” Kirk finally snapped, hoping to get through to her. Tarsus hadn’t been ‘fun.” It had been the worse experience of his life so far. So much needless death…

Janice shrugged. “So?”

The indifference in her voice hurt to hear. “You know… The place that’s been all over the news? Famine and genocide? THAT place?” Not to mention the privileged taking all they wanted and destroying those that had nothing.

Janice shook her head. “And? You think you’re the only one with problems? There’s more important things in the universe than some famine on a far off planet. I had problems here!”

And so it went and it broke Kirk’s heart. The very moment in his life when he needed friendship and support was denied him by a friend who didn’t care about what he had been through or the terrible things he had witnessed or participated in. 

Every day Kirk tried to deal with his demons from Tarsus and every day Janice accused him of being a self-centered show off.

Kirk graduated with his class, quickly making up for the three years of neglect to his education. Most of his class were all excited about their upcoming plans for the future. Kirk had no future plans. Some of his classmates would be attending college. Some would start jobs or families. Ten were chosen to take the entrance exams for Starfleet. The results came the summer after graduation. 

“I’ve been declined…” Janice cried out. “They rejected me. Why would they reject me? This isn’t fair! No… I don’t believe it, it has to be some mistake!” 

Kirk watched her from where he sat on the bale of hay in his family’s barn. “What’s so great about Starfleet?”

“It’s only the best of the best!” Janice snapped back, tossing away her PADD. “You should know… Son of the hero Captain George Kirk!”

Kirk rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time. It was the same old accusations. “My father’s captaincy lasted less than ten minutes.” 

“Everything handed to you on a silver platter!” Janice continued as if he hadn’t spoken.

“Yes… My job was handed to me by the mechanic, Carl. But it wasn’t a silver platter… It was an oil covered power coupling. I believe his exact words were, ‘Here, clean this.’”

“You’re making fun of me!” Janice cried out. “It’s not fair! Why do you get everything?”

Kirk rolled his eyes again and lounged on his hay bale, staring up at the cobwebs that hung from the ceiling of the barn. Sometimes he imagined the barn was his tomb. “Do you want my job at the garage? You can have it.”

“No! You know what I mean… Your connections to Starfleet that can get you in! If I was you I would use my connections to get into that command track.”

“I don’t think you’ve noticed this… But I’m not going to Starfleet. I didn’t even take the exams.”

“But you could if you want to and they would take you… Because you’re the great James Kirk. I bet your aptitude tests were off the charts!”

Kirk grunted and closed his eyes. “Maybe you should just leave me alone.”

Janice stopped hanging out with him after that, too angry at his disinterest in Starfleet to give him any time. Shortly after she turned eighteen she left for a different city for a different career. Kirk stayed in Riverside, content to work and drink himself to death to drown his demons. Maybe one day the barn really would become his tomb. 

^.~

Kirk sat on the brig’s cot. Janice had him moved from the medical bay to the brig to isolate him from the crew after she heard Chapel’s whispers. The cell was smaller than the others.

Suddenly the door opened and Commander Spock stepped in along with a guard. Spock stood, staring at him with one eyebrow raised in expectation.

“What’s wrong? Never imagined me in the body of a woman?” Kirk rolled his eyes.

Spock visibly flinched. “I have heard rumors and have come to verify if they are true.”

“And what rumors would those be?” Kirk asked, playing with the cot’s blanket. 

“That you are James Kirk in the body of Janice Lester.” Spock replied.

“Just rumors, Spock? You haven’t noticed that your supposed bond mate seems a little… Bond-less?”

Spock bowed his head and blushed a little. “Indeed I have not. I admit that I have been blocking the bond until now. But the person who wears James Kirk’s face is not bonded to anyone.”

“That is a problem.” Kirk nodded in sympathy. 

“I can feel it now.” Spock whispered. “It does not direct me back to the bridge where the Captain is on shift. It directs me here, to you.”

“So the bond isn’t dead?”

“We are T’hy’la. It can be blocked but it can never be broken.”

Kirk blushed and looked down at himself, at his female body. “I don’t know what she did… But I need to get back to my body. Will you help me?”

“Why does she hate you? What have you done?”

Kirk shook his head. “I wasn’t there for her, I guess. I was sent away to Tarsus and when I came back she was so angry at me for leaving her. And then it was just… Everything. I could never please her. Nothing was good enough… And yet she always said, ‘you think you’re better than me.’ I didn’t think I was anything! I was still so messed up from Tarsus. I was alone and… She just kept accusing me of making it all up to get attention. But I didn’t want attention! I wanted to hide and survive. I needed to hide.” Kirk shook his head again. “Then she got rejected from Academy. And somehow that was also my fault… Even though at the time I didn’t want anything to do with Starfleet or the Academy. When Pike eventually got me to apply she sent me one last note, blaming me for failing her psyche exam. It was my fault she was too unstable for command.”

“I… Grieve with thee.” Spock whispered.

Kirk shook his head as if to clear his memories. “It was a while ago.”

“It is illogical to blame you for her lack of abilities. None of what you describe is reason to assign you blame. Adding that burden along with healing from your experiences on Tarsus was unreasonable.” Spock replied with some authority. “Blaming others for your own shortcomings is not an acceptable trait for a Starfleet Captain.”

Kirk shrugged and resumed his fiddling with the blanket.

“I wish to apologize for my own shortcomings.” 

Kirk cautiously eyed his bond mate.

“Had I understood the primal nature and compensated my control I could have avoided the pain I caused you.”

“Spock?” Kirk cocked his head to the side. “Can we talk about this after we find a way to return me to my body?”

“Yes, of course.” Spock nodded and turned for the door, seeing the guard there as if he had forgotten his presence. “What is your impression?”

The security officer shook his head. “I only follow orders. How can I believe that this woman is our captain?”

Spock looked to Kirk. “Do you have any memories you wish to share with Lieutenant Gordan? 

Kirk stared at the security officer. “I recall when you became an uncle. Your sister’s daughter, your niece was named Mokina. You showed everyone holovids of her.”

Lieutenant Gordan blinked several times. “How would you know that?”

“I was there.” Kirk replied. “I also know that you sent your sister mangoes because they are her favorite. She was almost sent banjos because the guy taking the order was having difficulty with the audio connection.”

Gordan looked to Spock and then Kirk again. “Captain?”

Kirk smiled at him. Maybe he could win over the crew one memory at a time.

^.~

“Spock, you are accused of mutiny!” Janice crowed from her place. Kirk didn’t know his face could make that expression and yet Janice using his body made it. “How do you plead?”

“Not guilty.”

“Spock… Why do you listen to this woman? What hold does she have on you?”

“You say ‘she’ but I know that the person inside the body of Janice Lester is James T. Kirk.” Spock answered.

“That’s a lie! How can that woman be James T. Kirk when I am right here?”

“You are an imposter.”

The room shifted in agitation.

“She’s lied to you! You can’t believe what she says!” Janice jumped up from her chair. “Can you prove that she is really James T. Kirk?”

“He can.” Spock nodded.

“How?” Janice demanded.

“Computer…” Kirk spoke up from his seat. “Omega, omega, sigma, alpha, sigma, omega. One, one, two, one, zero, one.”

“What are you doing?” Janice demanded.

“Working!” The computer responded brightly. “New voice pattern recognized for James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise.”

“Thank you, computer.” Kirk got up from his chair. “Are there any other codes you want me to recite? You may have my body but you don’t have my mind.”

“Computer!” Janice turned to the device on the table. “Computer override last command! I order you!”

“What is the answer to the following question? ‘When?’” The last word was a playback of Kirk’s voice.

“No! No, you can’t do this! I am the captain!” Janice shouted.

Commander Scott gave Janice a smug smile. “Sorry. We had to add a wee bit to protect against identity theft after the last intruder to take the captain’s form and voice. The person you are calling Janice Lester and wanting to dump on an inferior planet just confirmed that they are actually James Kirk. The computer won’t return to original voice recognition until his voice gives the password.”

“You will tell me the password!” Janice demanded, advancing on Kirk.

“Security!” Kirk called out. But it was too late. Janice made a dive for him and wrapped her hands around his throat, ready to throttle him.

Spock grabbed her and pulled her back.

In that moment Kirk felt himself shift and he was dizzy. When he came back to himself he found that Spock was holding him in his own body.

“Computer!” Janice called out, once again in her own body.

“Computer, I-Chaya!” Kirk cried out.

“Working.” Computer answered brightly. “Password accepted. Voice recognition restored.” 

Janice made another grab at Kirk but she was immediately caught by security and dragged away. “I hate you! You selfish, self-centered…” But the rest of her words were dampened as she was dragged out of the room and to the brig.

“Are you alright, Jim?” Spock asked, his arms still holding the captain.

“I’m fine.” Kirk answered.

“Jim… I-Chaya is not a proper response to the question of ‘when.’”

Kirk chuckled softly and patted Spock’s shoulder. “It is for me.”

“Explain?”

“Not now.” Kirk grinned at his first officer and mate. 

^.~

Kirk looked from his PADD at Spock standing at attention before him. “At ease. You know you don’t have to do that in our… My cabin.” 

Spock relaxed his posture. “Jim… I am sorry about my behavior.”

Kirk waved his apology away. “You couldn’t have known what Janice had planned. It’s a good thing we added that voice recognition work around.” 

“I meant my behavior at Sarpeidon. Had I been in my right mind…”

“Forget about it, Spock.” Kirk set his PADD aside. “I can’t deny that the biological urge to breed is very important. What do you need me for when you could have someone who can give you children? It’s a primal urge… I get it.” 

“I should not have treated you the way I did.” Spock whispered. “You are my bond mate. You were there for me when I went through my Time. I should not have abandoned you.”

Kirk idly played with the PADD. “It’s ok, Spock. I get it. I’m not enough for your primal self.”

Spock shook his head and made a face, stepping around the desk to pull Kirk into his arms. “T’hy’la… Please. I am trying to apologize.” Picking up the captain in a bridal hold, the Vulcan carried his bond mate to the bed and set him down. “I cherish you.” The words came out shaky and a little unsure. Spock sat on the edge of the bed and took Kirk’s hand. “We are one being in two bodies. You are my other half.”

“Spock…” Kirk blushed and couldn’t meet the intensity of Spock’s eyes.

“We are one katra in two bodies. When you died I felt our bond tear apart.” Lifting Kirk’s hand, he kissed the palm with his lips. “I nearly followed you. That was before we even bonded as mates.”

Kirk gently guided Spock to lay beside him. “It’s alright, Spock.”

“My logic left me and I nearly forgot you.”

Kirk idly traced the outer edge of Spock’s ear with his fingertip. 

“I was foolish… Illogical. I would have died from the loss of our bond.”

“You would have found a way.”

Spock shook his head and scooted closer. “My older self is proof that I cannot completely find a way.” His lips shyly pressed against his human’s. “He is broken.”

Kirk leaned in and took Spock’s lips, pushing his tongue into the Vulcan’s mouth. A hand possessively wrapped around his waist, pulling him into full body contact as he kissed the pliant mouth. Finally he pulled back and gave his Vulcan a smirk. “What if I was stuck in the body of Janice Lester? Then what?” Playfully he kissed Spock’s nose.

Spock frowned at the thought. “It is your mind, not your body...”

“Oh!” Kirk pulled away to indicate himself. “So no matter what I look like you’d still want me? What if I was a Tellarite?”

“Do not tease me, Jim.” Spock replied with a frown. “I am pleased with your body.”

“How pleased?” Kirk teased.

Spock reached out and cupped Kirk’s cheek in his hand, resting their foreheads together. “Do you remember my Time?”

“How could I forget?” 

“When I came back to myself after Plak Tow…”

Kirk shut his eyes and relaxed, listening to Spock’s words. 

“You were the first person I saw and you were… Magnificent.”

“Even though I was covered in semen?” 

^.~

Kirk opened his eyes, unsure of his precise location, but feeling safe. His body was sore and sticky. A shift in the bed alerted him to a very naked and confused looking Spock beside him. “You alright?”

Spock nodded.

Kirk rolled over with some stiffness and managed to crawl up to Spock. “You don’t look alright. Are you still feeling the blood fever?”

Spock shook his head. “Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Kirk answered with a smile and got off the bed, aware of the amount of essence on his body. “I need a shower. Come with me?” 

The Vulcan rose from the bed and followed Kirk into the bathroom to obediently stand under the sonic shower. 

“I could really go for a bath right about now. But I guess New Vulcan doesn’t have that luxury, does it?” And with that he turned off the shower to look over Spock’s form. “Your penis still hasn’t retracted.” Gently he touched the swelling at the base of the Vulcan’s spine. “You’re still a little swollen. You may not be done.”

Spock closed his eyes and whimpered at the touch.

“Come on, Spock. One more round.” Kirk led the way back to the bedroom and looked over the filthy bed. “Maybe we should remake the bed first.”

Spock leaned against Kirk’s back, face pressed against Kirk’s back. “Thank you… For doing this.”

Kirk spun around and wrapped his arms around Spock’s waist. “It’s no problem. We’re… What are we? Aside from husbands now…”

“T’hy’la.” Spock answered. “We have always been T’hy’la.” 

Kirk leaned into the exhausted Vulcan and rubbed his back. “Yeah… Old Spock mentioned that. He told me I could be of use to you because of that connection. I almost lost you.”

Spock nuzzled into Kirk’s neck, taking in his scent. 

“Do you remember any of it? Old Spock said you probably won’t remember Plak Tow.”

“My last memory was of our beaming to New Vulcan.” Spock admitted. “And then my next memory is waking up to see you naked beside me. You seemed exhausted and vulnerable and yet sound in body.”

“So you don’t even remember the mind blowing sex?” Kirk queried.

“I feel the warm attachment to you. Your presence gives me comfort. But I have no memory of our joining.”

Kirk stepped back to look at Spock’s face. “Do you want to remember? You can look into my memories.”

“My control isn’t… Is not complete at this time.”

Kirk glanced down at the swollen organ between them. “Do you want to be with me right now? I can show you what you missed.”

Spock nodded. “That would be agreeable. But you show signs of being sore.”

“That’s true… But you’re not.”

Spock nodded his agreement, his mind still mildly affected by the last of the fever. Quickly he got into the bed, opening his knees. “I am ready for you, ashayam.”

Kirk grinned and crawled atop him.

^.~

“We were both filthy, covered in evidence in our joining.” Spock whispered. “And then you took me and I marveled at the power of your body. Even after two days of non-stop sex you still had the stamina to take me as if for the first time.” 

“We didn’t even have time to change the sheets.” Kirk mused.

“You were beautiful.” 

“You still needed me.”

“Will you take me now?”

Kirk perked up. “Right now?”

Spock looked away. “Speaking of this has made me physically excited. I long to feel your power as you take me.”

“If I were stuck in the body of Janice Lester we couldn’t do it that way.”

“That is precisely why I insist. I find that I enjoy the activity.”

Kirk thought back on all the times since their bonding that they had made love, the positions Spock seemed to enjoy the most. “You like bottoming to me.”

A green blush crossed the Vulcan’s cheeks. 

Kirk sat up to stare down at the lounging Vulcan. Quickly he stood up and began to undress, aware that Spock was watching him. Finally he faced his husband. “Is this what you like, Spock? This body? This cock?” Teasingly he played with the stiffening organ. 

Spock’s eyes widened as he sat up and lightly touched Kirk’s growing erection. 

“I am a man, Spock.”

“I am well aware of that.” Spock answered. 

“I can’t give you children.”

“I know.” Brown eyes focused on blue. They kept silent contact for several long moments until finally Spock pulled away to hastily remove his clothing. They made a messy pile beside the bed which was unusual for the Vulcan.

“Eager, are we?” 

The Vulcan made a sort of primal growl and caught the man around his waist, pulling him down on top of his own body. They wiggled together for a time, attempting to find a position to both of their liking. Spock ended up on his hands and knees with his rump in the air. Kirk was holding his hips as lips kissed at the swell at the base of the Vulcan’s spine. “Captain…”

“It’s ‘Captain’ now, is it?” His teeth nipped at a round cheek. 

Spock cried out and pushed back against Kirk’s grip. One finger slipped into him and then another. His muscles relaxed to allow his mate to prepare him even though muscle control rendered that activity unnecessary. Still, it was something the both enjoyed.

Kirk shifted his position and easily pushed into the slightly cool orifice. “This is what you want, Spock? This is how you like it?”

“Yes… Yes…” Spock responded, arching his back to feel Kirk pressed against him from behind. 

Kirk wrapped his arms around the Vulcan’s torso and helped him to sit up as he sat back on his heels. “I’m not a woman, Spock.”

“Ashayam…” Spock moaned, rolling his head back to rest on Kirk’s shoulder as they moved together.

Kirk reached around to wrap his hand around Spock’s oily organ, squeezing it in his grip and flicking his thumb over the tip.

Spock cried out and collapsed forward, opening his knees wider.

With one hand on Spock’s cock and the other on his hip, Kirk moved over and over. A man of great experience he had plenty of stamina and he could hold out until his lover was ready. His hand squeezed his Vulcan’s organ again and there was a spurt of wetness covering his hand.

Spock grunted and stilled, pushing back against Kirk as he tightened his muscles to help his mate finish.

Kirk gave another two thrusts before he rested, feeling himself pulse deep within his husband. 

Spock slowly eased himself down on the bed with Kirk still attached to his back.

With a little effort Kirk managed to free his hand and rest it on the Vulcan’s waist. His lips kissed at his man’s spine between his shoulder blades. “Do you regret being stuck with me?”

“I am not stuck with you.” Spock responded. 

“I think you are.” Kirk whispered and rolled off Spock’s body to lay beside him. 

“Why would you think that?”

“You didn’t exactly choose me to spend Pon Farr with you. I volunteered last minute because you weren’t completely compatible with Nyota.” Kirk lightly traced patterns on his husband’s side. “I think you resent that a little bit… And that’s why you wanted to stay with Zarabeth.” 

“I was not in my logical mind.”

“And that’s really telling!” Kirk sat up. “Your illogical brain wanted someone else. Anyone but me…”

Spock sat up and leaned in to lightly kiss Kirk’s lips. “We are T’hy’la.”

“So? Our counterparts were the same but they never got married.”

“And my counterpart regrets that lack of action even now. Show me what I have forgotten about my Time.” Spock’s hand hesitantly moved towards Kirk’s face.

“You’ve seen it already.”

“You claim I did not wish for you to be my mate. Show me what you experienced.”

Kirk pulled Spock’s hand into place in silent acceptance. The meld overwhelmed them.

^.~

Spock prowled around the courtyard. 

“He is deep in Plak Tow.” Old Spock whispered to Kirk.

Kirk looked about at their surroundings. It was nothing like the memories Old Spock had shared in his meld. These ceremonial grounds were new and encircled by the housing structures. Sarek stood in the place of T’Pau. As the oldest surviving elder of Spock’s line it was his duty. 

Nearby Uhura shifted her weight from one leg to the other. As always she was beautiful as any bride would be on her wedding day.

“Nervous?” Kirk whispered.

Uhura silently shook her head and made a face. “Something is wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Kirk asked.

“I don’t feel it. He told me I should feel this if the bond is there. I don’t feel it.” Turning her attention to her captain, she gave him a panicked look. “What if this doesn’t work? What if he dies because I can’t… I can’t give him what he needs?”

“It has to work.” Kirk replied, returning his attention to Spock who now approached the bride and guests. 

Spock stopped before them. His attention went to Uhura but then he blinked and shook his head. His attention shifted to Kirk.

Kirk swallowed hard, finding himself looking into an intense pair of brown eyes. “Why is he looking at me like that?” The whisper was soft and directed to the old Vulcan at his side. 

“Jim… You are aware of T’hy’la, are you not? It was something you saw in my mind when we melded.”

“A faint bond with your Kirk?” Kirk managed.

“It can serve as a mating bond.” The old Vulcan answered.

“Oh, shit!” Kirk managed to say before Spock crowded up against him, fingertips reaching for his own and rubbing against them. The physical and mental connection nearly overwhelmed his senses. 

“Captain, it’s the only way to save him! You must!” Uhura urged. “I can’t do it. If you can…”

“T’Pring is dead… There is no other…” Old Spock stated.

“Please, Jim! Help him!” Uhura begged.

“Alright.” Kirk replied, keeping his eyes on the Vulcan before him.

There were words in Vulcan and Kirk felt himself grow dizzy. Strong arms held him and somehow even though his eyes were closed he could see bright, hot light consuming him. 

“T’hy’la.” Spock’s voice was deep and clear. The word surrounded him and he surrendered himself to it, trusting in the speaker.

When Kirk came to he was on a bed inside a bedroom. Spock lay beside him, eyes open, staring at him as if in a trance. “Spock?”

Spock’s eyes flickered and then closed as he moved his hips and whimpered. 

Kirk immediately wrapped his arms around his friend. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you… Everything will be alright.” 

Spock helplessly dry humped against him before he cried out and went still. 

“Time of mating? Ok… I can do this.” His hands undressed the Vulcan. “I’ve got you.”

^.~

Spock pulled away from the meld and stared back at Kirk.

“You see… There’s nothing really. I was the only one you had a faint connection with. Uhura was supposed to marry you but she had no connection with you. She panicked and begged me to take her place.”

“Jim…” Spock whispered, resting his hand on Kirk’s face. “You are the other half of my katra. I could not have anyone else when you were right there for me to take.” The Vulcan kissed his human deeply, the human way, all tongues and teeth with stolen breath. 

Kirk found himself pulled on top of a very handsy mate. “You’re hard again.”

“You have that effect on me.” His hand combed through Kirk’s hair fondly. “Ashayam. I do not what I will do if I lost you again. Believe me when I say that. I will be lost and broken. I am glad Doctor McCoy made me see the logic in returning to this time and place to be with you. I am grateful that he reminded me of all I would lose. Not just you… But myself. A critical component would be missing.”

Kirk blushed and rested on top of his husband.

“I have deep affection for you. As I have stated before… I love you.”

“Love you too.” Kirk managed as he relaxed in Spock’s embrace. 

“If it is offspring you desire we can find a surrogate…”

“No.” Kirk giggled and snuggled closer. “I don’t want to think about children just yet. We still have two years left on this mission.”

“Perhaps when our mission is over…”

“Perhaps.” Kirk confirmed.

“Now will you tell me what you meant by ‘I-Chaya’?” 

Kirk chuckled softly at the change in conversation. “It’s something I saw in a meld with your counterpart. He went back in time and met his younger self as he was about to undergo the Kahs-wan. I-Chaya tried to protect him.”

“That never happened in our timeline. I-Chaya lived to be quite old. But your prompt was ‘when’?”

“It wasn’t really a question… Just an idea. ‘When Old Spock went back in time to save himself, I-Chaya died.’ I have to make up a new question and answer now.” 

“Captain Kirk.” The comm chimed with Uhura’s voice.

Kirk rolled over and tapped the comm next to the bed. “Kirk here.”

Spock raised an eyebrow.

“Captain, we will rendezvous with the Pinta in one hour to transfer the prisoner.”

“Understood. Kirk out.” Kirk tapped the button again.

“Fascinating.” Spock stated.

“What is so fascinating?”

“I noticed that Dr. Lester answered the comm by saying ‘Captain Kirk.’ You do not. When I brought that to Dr. McCoy’s attention he did not find that to be… Atypical of your behavior.”

Kirk leaned back on the bed. “Everyone already knows that I’m the captain. There’s no need to state it.”

“I find it odd that she felt she had to reassure everyone that she was Captain Kirk by stating your rank at every opportunity.”

“Yeah? Well… I’m not that full of myself.” Kirk answered with a grin.

Spock pulled the captain into his arms. “Sometimes you are full of me.”

Kirk laughed and wrapped himself around his Vulcan mate. “You are hilarious.” 

“It was an observation.”

“It was a sex joke, Spock, and you know it.” Kirk kissed him tenderly. “I need to take a shower and so do you.” 

“And then a meal.” Spock answered as he lightly touched Kirk’s ribs. “Dr. Lester did not take care of your body while she inhabited it.” 

“If you insist.” 

Spock beamed at his husband. “I insist.”

^.~

Dr. Janice Lester finally left the ship. Those who had been aware of what she had done were thankful to see her go without any more incident. The crew was reassured that Dr. Jancie Lester would receive the best care available. The ship security codes were all quickly changed and the crew was on their way to their next assignment.

^.~

Spock stared hungrily at the woman before him. She seemed to be wearing what looked like a leather bikini. The woman took a step forward into Spock’s space. “I have been so lonely… So very lonely.” And then she kissed him.

Kirk grunted, watching his mate kiss the woman with such abandon. “Spock?”

Spock broke the kiss and stared at Kirk in confusion. “Who…?”

“It’s me, Spock… Jim.” Kirk answered, looking down at himself and realizing for the first time that he was completely naked. This couldn’t be… This wasn’t real. “We’re in a dream… A dream memory.” Kirk focused his attention on the woman and her pile of furs. “Is that Zarabeth?”

“Who is this, Spock?” The woman asked, looking to Spock.

“Jim…?” Confusion continued to play on the Vulcan’s face. “I’m… Connected to you?”

Kirk flinched, hearing the contraction. “Yes, Spock. I’m your husband.” Kirk glanced down at himself again. 

Spock crossed the distance between them, herding Kirk back until he felt his backside come in contact with a cave wall that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “You are… T’hy’la?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you here?”

“It’s a dream of a memory. That’s why I’m naked… And why the floor is covered with tribbles.” As soon as he said it, he knew it to be true. A glance down confirmed the statement even as their purrs caught his ear. “It’s a dream, Spock. We’re not really here.”

Spock took a deep breath and focused on Kirk’s face for a long moment before looking around the well-lit cave piled with furs and a fire pit that hadn’t been there a moment ago. The woman in the leather bikini stared at them from her place near the fire. “This is Sarpeidon. But you were not there.”

“No, I wasn’t.” Kirk agreed. “This is a dream.”

Spock returned his focus to Kirk’s face. “I can feel echoes of my people… Their primal minds reach out to me. I can feel their passions and their hunger.” 

Kirk reached up and gently cupped the Vulcan’s cheek in his hand. “I know, Spock…”

“I want to take what is mine.” Spock flinched and closed his eyes, struggling with the errant emotions.

“It’s just a dream, Ashayam. You’re really here with me… In our bed back on the Enterprise. We’re not really here.”

“I am weak…”

“No, Spock. You’re one of the strongest I know. It is I who is weak.”

Spock grumbled softly and took another step closer to Kirk, pressing him back against the wall. “Together we are strong. No one can stop us. Nero, Marcus, Khan…” 

Kirk leaned in for a kiss, effectively silencing the Vulcan.

“I wish to have you.” Spock murmured against Kirk’s lips.

“While dreaming?” 

“I will wake us up.”

And with that Kirk came back to wakefulness wrapped around Spock in their bed. Quickly he gained the advantage and straddled Spock’s body. “Light to twenty percent.” Immediately the lights came up enough that he could see his bond mate. Sitting up, he smiled down at the Vulcan as he rocked his hips. “How do you want me?”

“The position you are in is acceptable.” Spock answered, resting his hands on Kirk’s knees.

“Yeah? Well, it’s even better when I do this.” Suddenly he lifted his body and reached back to find what he was aiming for. In a swift, fluid motion, he sat back down as the Vulcan’s oily organ slipped inside. His hips began to rock at a slow pace as he rested his hands on his mate’s belly. “Like this? Does this satisfy your primitive warrior passions?”

Spock made an inelegant noise and sat up to wrap his arms around his mate’s back. “Do not tease me.”

“I’m not teasing… I remember a certain couple of days when you were under the influence of your warrior passions and couldn’t get enough of me.”

Spock growled in response and in a swift motion he was on top. 

Kirk wrapped his legs around Spock’s hips and held on to his shoulders for dear life. “That’s it… Take me.” Too soon his orgasm overwhelmed him.

Spock took a few moments more before he finally collapsed. “That is very dangerous during coitus.”

“I can handle anything you give me.” Kirk whispered, tightening his muscles on Spock’s cock.

Spock whimpered and shifted for a better cuddle position.

“That was Sarpeidon and Zarabeth I saw?”

“It was.”

Kirk snuggled against his mate. “I suppose we learned something from that dream…”

“Explain.”

“When presented with both a beautiful woman and me, you chose me.”

Spock’s fingertips drew gentle patterns on Kirk’s back. “You are T’hy’la and husband.”

“Also because I was naked and surrounded by tribbles.” 

“Especially when you are naked and surrounded by tribbles.” Spock answered with a soft kiss. “Sleep, Ashayam.”

Kirk closed his eyes and fell back to sleep with smile on his face.

\--Fin

**Author's Note:**

> There's just not enough time for Reboot Kirk to meet Janice in his timeline and have her get a doctorate... So I had them be teenagers together.


End file.
